Have you ever heard the term “The Black Moment?” Well, neither had I before I became a writer. It’s usually one of the most emotional sections of a book or story. It could also be called the “Big Crisis,” or the point when “All Is Lost.” It grips you, and if done well, turns your want into a [Read more…] about The Black Moment
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Life is a Journey
Well, we are finally coming down to the wire in preparation for the new release of my next romance novel, Come to the Oaks. Like my other two books, Come to the Oaks is a romantic journey where the fine line between right and wrong must be resolved for love to survive.
So now is the time that I finally get to share what the book is all about, and how Come to the Oaks came to be. Here’s a little backstory about the book.
First, the synopsis:
In 1845, [Read more…] about Life is a Journey
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Do What You were Meant to Do
Did you know I actually started writing poetry first? Long before reading romance books, I was reading James Baldwin, Maya Angelou, and Edgar Allan Poe. In reading their poetry, I felt the raw and exposed elements of love, pain, and fear transformed into words. It lay deep within me for many years… until recently.
As a young adult, I became a very private person. Letting someone into my most vulnerable space without fear of judgment or embarrassment was never going to happen. Then, going into law enforcement at the age of twenty-two, I closed myself off even more. In law enforcement, others look to you as the authority. You learn to master the look of zero emotion. You are prepared for the worst of the worst to happen on any given day, at any given moment. I became even more guarded and private, and even a bit cynical.
Being an author requires the opposite of who I had become as a middle-aged adult. This process, although tough, is growth. As an author, I have become my biggest critic. I am constantly comparing my work to others, and asking myself if I’m good enough. It is the same old struggle I’ve had most of my life; to stay positive and not let what is going on around me cloud my thinking. Writing is easy for me. Sharing the product and having people judge my work (me), is tough. I realize that this part of being an artist is a part I cannot escape, nor should I, because in a way it’s a road back to “me.”
Positive affirmation balances some of my critical thinking and allows me to start again the next day. It is a shame that I need this, like water to the lips, nourishment for the soul.
They say you have to develop a thick skin if you want to be an artist. However, it’s also about being vulnerable and exposing a little of who you are in the process that can be magical and rewarding. A delicate balance for the two to cohabitate in the same space. To give of yourself knowing the possibility of pain.
For everyone who has been there for me during my journey, thank you for your kind words. I accept, believe, and will treasure your words forever. For those who have critiqued me, you challenge me and help me be the man and artist I want to be.
In closing, I leave you with just a part of one of my favorite poems by the great Maya Angelou:
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
No More Wild Women and Whiskey
First and foremost, Happy New Year to everyone! We made it through all the hustle and bustle of the office parties, holiday get-togethers, big meals, and that legendary New Year’s Eve celebration. I hope 2016 was everything you wanted it to be. I know it was for me. I published my second book, Before Sunrise, and I am very proud of the growth that has occurred in me, both as a writer, and a person.
Now as things slow down and return to normal (did I really just use the word normal?), many of us are detoxing from too much sugar and/or alcohol thanks to the holidays. I know, I’ve said at the beginning of every New Year, and I’m sure you have as well, “It’s time for a fresh start.” No more sugar, a little less alcohol, and maybe for me, a couple more salads for lunch or dinner.
For as long as I can remember, the New Year has been a time to hit the reset button. In the form of a resolution maybe, you want to lose weight, perhaps begin a new chapter in your life as a newly single person, to give up smoking, to enjoy life to the fullest, to spend less and save more, or to spend more time with family and friends.
What’s my reset button? Along with eating better, my other resolution has been the same resolution for the last five years; to be the best possible person I can be, to be kind, considerate and aware of the needs of others around me. Now I don’t make this resolution year after year because I suck at it, or because I haven’t been doing it already. I make the resolution more as a pledge to myself that I can always do better.
So what are you saying good-bye to? Wild women, whiskey, or maybe negative people in your life? Whatever it is, it takes more than just saying it. It also involves knowing how you’re going to accomplish it. You have to move that resolution to the front of your brain to bring it to life. Otherwise, it will just be buried in there with everything else by February 1.
Whether it’s a sign, ‘Post-It’ note, or a buddy system, I have to be able to visually see what it is I’m trying to do. For some people, they either have to go cold turkey or take baby steps in working towards their goal. Know what works for you and set a plan. Whatever your resolution is, make sure it’s realistic. There is a greater chance that you will keep your resolution throughout the year if it’s something you can really achieve. Unhealthy behaviors develop over time. Replacing them with healthy ones requires time as well. If you slip, it’s okay to start over, taking it from the top, placing it back in the front part of the ole brain.
So in making your New Year’s resolution this year, I think Melody Beattie, bestselling author of at least twenty (at last count) wonderful Self-Help books said it best: “The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.”
I wish you all the luck with whatever it is you’ve set your mind to do for this New Year; and remember, you’re the driver and actually do have control of your own wheel.
Do They Know It’s Christmas Time?
As a kid, we’re told to go to bed early on Christmas Eve because Santa Claus does not visit houses if little children are awake. In our PJ’s, we traipse off to bed because we believe that he will come.
To believe that Santa Claus had the ability to fly around the globe and visit every house on Christmas Eve could only be a miracle. And yet, each Christmas morning, we’d rush out of our little beds to find what goodies he left for us under the Christmas tree.
In shock that he had eaten all the cookies, but didn’t finish his milk, our little minds would race to process it all. As children, we processed all of it, the good and the bad. However, once we grew up, everything about Santa that we had heard as we were growing up changed, and we were told to stop believing in Santa and in the magic of Christmas.
I have seen that, even in the poorest of villages, people will give what they can to someone who has even less. People driving into town will pick up strangers walking into town. With no hesitation, they stop, and whether it’s the front seat, back seat, or the bed of the truck, they offer what they have.
As a country, why are we so generous and sympathetic for those who need our help during the holidays, yet we do very little the rest of the year?
I think of everything in my life as a gift, and not mine to keep, but to use somehow to do good; to share, to bless others where we can and when we can. I am aware that not everyone has the same blessings, which include joyful times spent with family and friends, a roof over their head, plenty of food for days to come, the warmth of a fire, and the luxury of a couch. I see the homeless and the lonely, the mentally ill, the poor, and the sick, and often they do not possess the basic needs to care for themselves.
I believe in Karma, as well as God, and that there is no act of kindness that is too small. There are things that we may do in life that will make a world of difference for someone else. Maybe we won’t even know that we even had an effect. To offer generosity, this compassion will always come back, rarely in the same form, but it will come back to you.
In closing, may you and yours have a Happy Holiday this coming week; and remember, not everyone knows it’s Christmas Time, and not everyone knows that someone cares. Let your gift be one of support, generosity, and kindness during this holiday season and, more importantly, throughout the New Year.